Cuyler Callahan's Official Home Page

I have a little problem with fantasy stories. Now don’t get me wrong, fantasy is my favorite genre. My issue is more or less not with fantasy stories in general, but with some stories, and mostly, with the authors of these said stories.

The problem I have is called: Accountability.

When I read a fantasy story, I want explanations, I want reasons. I don’t want something to happen, just because the author could make it happen. If a wizard is going to use magic, I want to know where the hell that magic came from, and why he is able to use it.

I’m sick of reading a story where some magician casts a fireball just because he used magic. Where did this magic come from? What are the rules of the magic? A world not of our world, is still going to be subject to lots of the same rules we are subject to. And as we all should know from science class: One of Newton’s Laws of Motion states that, “To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

This law of motion is also applied to every action taken in life whether its a tangible on intangible action. You think of something, you’ll usually be reminded to think of something else. Just opening your eyes in the morning sets off a whole set of other actions.

Just because somebody exists in some fantasy world doesn’t mean these laws won’t exist. Sure, maybe in another world it will have three moons, the population breaths in nitrogen to survive, gravity is lighter, and fireballs can be formed from muttering some word, doesn’t mean the laws of science don’t exist there.

Another world can have differences, but it still follows the same laws of science as every other world. Magic can still exist, but rules must be set, and these rules need to follow the laws of science.

Say for instance that you have a wizard who’s power comes from a God of that world. I myself am not a believer in Gods, but if your world has a God, or Gods, and the power comes from them, it might be a good idea to have some sort of explanation on how that God gives his power to the wizard. How did that God acquire the power?

The problem with power coming from Gods opens a whole set of problems. The believers of the God in your world may believe that they know all, and “just” have the power. So in order to set the scene for your world and let the reader be immersed in it, you probably need to just let it be and not explain how the God has the power. For myself, this is a little annoying as I am the type of person who likes to know where this stuff comes from.

But if we can’t even figure that out in our own world, it can make it hard to explain it in a fictitious world, at least not without destroying the scene of the world a writer is trying to set up.

But you know what I’m saying now. There needs to be accountability in a world. There can’t just be things happening because of “Magic”. There needs to be rules, explanations, enough that the reader knows that things don’t “just happen”.

I myself found I was doing the same thing I am talking about. I have some fantasy stories where magic was just being thrown around. I later read and found it to be shallow and take away from the story. Later when I wrote and explained my magic a bit, I found that it was more tangible to me, more realistic, and more exciting.

Lets run through a little scenario. I am going to develop a magic source with rules.

Okay, so where is our magic originating from?

Lets say it’s originating from a source of energy that exists in the world. But where did this source of energy come from? Well we all know that everything is made of energy. Science has proved that right. Well to keep it simple we could say that the people of the world are sensitive to energy. This has been proven in our world as well. Some people are more sensitive to the motions of energy in our world. Have you ever had somebody stare at you from a distance, and you felt it, so you turned around and found them. Well that is our normal sensitivity to energy being stirred.

There are people more sensitive in our world that can pick up on the stirs of energy. We don’t have anybody extremely sensitive, but we could make people in our world extremely sensitive to it, and able to manipulate it with thoughts, rather then by devices.

If we wanted to get a little more complicated, we could say that there is a great magnetic disturbance that attracts energy to it. We have those on our own world, the south and north pole. Well imagine it thousands of times greater. Maybe that is the energy that people in our world access. But we would have to make sure that if they are the farthest away from it possible on our world, that their access to it becomes limited.

See, we are using laws of science to create our magic. Now that is explaining where the energy source and our “magic” is coming from. You can further develop more rules like how it is used and manipulated. Maybe people that use magic can only send lighting bolts. Or they may be able to use the energy to magnetize themselves and attract metal objects, then magnetize it which they can then reverse their magnetic poles and send the metal they picked up hurtling like a bullet.

Maybe by using other materials they can use the magic to create fireballs. To create a fireball in our world, we will say that magicians gather sawdust mixed with a bit of sulfur and small magnetized metal grindings and create a powder. They gather it in their hands, and ignite it with electricity use, then use reversed poles to send the fireball at their target.

So, by using science, magic can seem more tangible. Now, maybe all this magic being used is explained differently by the inhabitants of your world. They may explain that it is power from the Gods. That by experimenting, they learned how to send fireballs flying. They may not know the real rules on how it works, but they made up their own rules. So you have the real science behind the show, and you have what people think the real science behind it is.

Now the real challenge is explaining it to your readers so it seems real, but at the same time not destroying your readers view on the world.

So lets explore this problem.

Just as an example- and there are many ways to accomplish this- this world we are looking into could have a very secretive wizard who understands the magic in it’s real sense. He doesn’t believe in the Gods and so he was very intuitive and wanted to know the real source of energy. He figured it out. So a scene in your book could include him- though make sure it makes sense in the book- and the real magic could be explained. So your reader could have two opinions on how the magic works. That way your not destroying the magic the people believe in, but at the same time it will seem real to the readers.

To write a good story there needs to be accountability. “To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Don’t just throw things in and not expect the readers to question it or for there not to be a reaction to it in the story, or a consequence. This will make the story shallow and very unbelievable.

EVERYTHING has a reason why it works.

Most people have grown up learning how to type in the style called QWERTY. If you look at any typical keyboard today, it is QWERTY layout. Usually nobody ever questions why we write in QWERTY. It has always just been that way.

I’ll give you a quick history lesson. Back in the 1800′s when typewriters first started coming out, the big question was how should we type. Typing, back in the day, was hard work. To get a good print on the sheet, a typist had to hit the keys pretty hard. It was found that after repeated typing, a typist usually had to stop, as their wrists would become sore. And it was a condition that lasted a long time, often causing a typist his job.

Doctor Dvorak developed a typing style where typing a word usually involved both hands, that way a majority of words would not be typed with one hand. This took much stress of the wrists, and many typists noticed a great improvement in the health of their wrists. The only problem with this typing style, however, was that many letters were close together, and being hit right after the other. This caused keys to jam up in the typewriter.

For efficiency reasons, the typewriter was universally set to QWERTY. This style allowed the minimum amount of key jamming. However, this did not help the typist’s wrists.

In today’s typing world though, QWERTY is not needed. We do not having key jamming problems any more. Dvorak is much easier on the wrists, minimizing the chance of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. When I first started writing, I noticed pain starting to increase in my wrists.

Soon it became a constant problem, and I had to start wearing wrists bands. Working on the farm, having sore wrists could not be tolerated. I started looking for solutions. I read an article on Holly Lisle’s site about the Dvorak style of typing. She said it helped her out with her wrists. I tried it, and after a couple of months, I learned the typing style, and now my wrists are fine. I also type much faster then I did in QWERTY as typing is much more natural with Dvorak.

If you are interested in typing in Dvorak, all it takes is a simple setting change on your computer. You can even go as far as buying special Dvorak keyboards. Though I really don’t think it is necessary, as long as your a typist that doesn’t look at the keyboard.

To switch your settings in windows, click on your “Start” button in the bottom left hand corner of your screen. In Vista or 7 that will be the little blue round windows sign. Then click on “Control Panel” in the menu that shows up.

Make sure your in “Control Panel Home” and not “Classic View”. Then click on “Clock, Language, and Region”. Then click on “Language and Regional Options”. Then select the “Keyboard and Languages Tab” at the top, then select “Change Keyboards”

Select the “Add” button and then select “English-United States”, then “Keyboard”, then “United States- Dvorak”. Press “Ok”.

In the “Default Input Language” section, click on the pull down menu and select “United States- Dvorak” Press “Ok”. Now exit out. You are done. You computer is in Dvorak. Try typing in a word document. You’ll see the keys are all different.

You will want to print out a Dvorak chart so you can memorize the keys. It will probably take you a couple months to get really good at it, but the benefits are well worth it.

One problem that many writers run into is that they end up telling the story, rather then showing the story. Even now, after not writing in a long time, I noticed I fell back into this trap. I seem to be telling the story, rather then showing the story in many instances.

One method I found and used back in my more prominent writing days is something called E-Prime. Basically it works on the concept that when a person tells a story they use the following “to be” verbs: be, is, am, are, was, were, been, being; plus contractions — ‘m, ‘s, ‘re; plus various archaic and dialectual forms — eg., war, wert, beest, amn’t, ain’t.

So the better way to write a story and show the reader is to let them see the action, rather then tell the action.

Lets look at an example:

Using “to be” verbs: I was being chased by a green monster, were the river runs dry.

Without “to be” verbs: My feet thudded heavily. I ran from the green monster, past the dry end of the river.

As you can see, when I don’t use the “to be” verbs, I am forced to write the sentence more so that the reader sees the action. When I use the “to be” verbs, it is easy to see that I’m more or less telling a story.

Try this in your writing. Try to avoid using the “to be” verbs, and see how it helps out your writing.

I need to work on this as well. Currently as I write my story Soldier Qualification, I can see I’m still using these verbs heavily. I don’t avoid the words as I write articles, and posts, such as this I’m writing now. But I will try harder to avoid using the “to be” verbs when I write stories. They may still slip in however.

Usually what I’ll do, is I’ll right my story without really thinking about anything. I’ll just get the words on paper. When I go back and do my final edit. That is when I’ll look for the use of “to be” verbs, and I’ll change the sentences around to be more descriptive and more action oriented rather then story told.

What you can do as well is print out the following label and post it somewhere by your computer where you can see it. It’ll help you remember not to use “to be” verbs.

Writing In E-Prime

The only time I will use these are in dialog.

I hope this method helps out others with their writing. I know it has helped me out in the past.

Have you ever put down a book because you couldn’t stand having to reread over and over again. I find that the most parts I have to reread are the dialog lines. It is vitally important to let your reader know what is happening to your characters as it is happening.

Reading:

“You think so,” he said angrily.

Might have the reader reading “You think so” as a question. It might have them reading it mildly. Then they will see “he said angrily” and realize they were suppose to read “You think so” angrily. This causes them to go back and reread. It is best to let the reader know how to read the dialog before or as they read it, not after.

For full effect it would be better to say for instance:

“YOU THINK SO!” He said angrily, “You think so!”

Or

Angrily he yelled at her; her heart trembling, “You think so!”

This allows the reader to know what is happening with the dialogue. They don’t have to go back and read it again because they know before and during that the dialogue is supposed to be angry.

Look at the following:

“You think so,” he said

This sentence is all right because there is no anger. It is just a simple statement.
There are different ways to show emotion before or as you write dialog. I will show you a few methods.

1. Directly in dialog:

“I am sad that your mother died.”

This shows that the speaker is sad about the death of someone else mother. There is no need to write:

Sadly he said, ” I am sad that your mother died.”

Because it is obvious that the speaker is sad. He said it himself.
Now if for instance if the speaker was saying the words with anger, like in an argument and it’s important for the reader to know it’s in anger, then that’s when you would add more information before the dialogue.

2. Tag line before dialog:

Take this conversation:

“My mother is dead; you don’t understand my pain.”
“I know your mother is dead,” he said, weeping with his friend.

The second dialog text says he weeps with his friend, but after he talks. The reader could read it blandly, then realize after that he wept. They would have to go back and read it as the person crying.

It is better to write the sentence as:

Weeping he wiped his face with his shirt sleeve. “I know your mother is dead.”

You could even add more to evoke more emotion such as:

Weeping he wiped his face with his shirt sleeve. “I know your mother is dead and I will weep with you until you yourself are done.”

This is mixing the first method with the second.

3.Capitalization and the exclamation mark!

You don’t want to use these a lot as it will start to bland your writing. But if emotion is very strong it is well to use them.

Take the sentence:

“I will rip your heart out with a fork.”

Now we all can see the speaker is very angry… but is he. He could be joking with a friend. You can’t really tell positively if the speaker is angry.

We assume he is angry, and in context with the rest of your story, we can usually tell what is happening. What we want, though, is emotion.

So take a look at the sentence with capitalization and an exclamation work:

“I WILL RIP YOUR HEART OUT WITH A FORK!”

This can work, but use it sparingly. If used a lot it will look idiotic on the page. Also, only use capitalization when your speaker is actually yelling. Say your speaker is a Sargent yelling at military trainees. Then you might want to use capitalization in their dialog. Make sure to add the exclamation mark. It looks better then having capitalization, then a short bland little dot at the end. You want the words to stand out on the page because they show great emotion.

The sentence might look better as:

She clenched her fists, tensed her body, and threatened him deafeningly, “I will rip your heart out with a fork!”

Just an exclamation mark doesn’t look so weird and still gets the point across. Make sure however that if your speaker is yelling you state that, and before the actual dialog. Remember, unlike the capitalization which state the speaker as yelling, the exclamation mark can be used to express joy and other emotions of great intensity.

You can still evoke more emotion. Try adding a middle tag and an exclamation mark.

“I will rip your heart,” a growl entered his throat, “out with a fork!”

For longer sentences I recommend the middle tag line shown above. Remember though that the sentence above is showing the growl entering the throat through the middle of his speech. If he was growling it out at the beginning, make sure to mention that. For shorter sentences the exclamation mark or capitalization- used sparingly- are good to use.

So lets recap the different methods I have shown you:

There is:

1. Directly in dialog:
“I am sad that your mother died.”

2. Tag line before dialog:
Weeping he wiped his face with his shirt sleeve. “I know your mother is dead.”

A mix between 1 and 2:
Weeping he wiped his face with his shirt sleeve. “I know your mother is dead and I will weep with you until you yourself are done.”

3.Capitalization and the exclamation mark!
“I WILL RIP YOUR HEART OUT WITH A FORK!”
She clenched her fists, tensed her body, and threatened him deafeningly, “I will rip your heart out with a fork!”
“I will rip your heart,” a growl entered his throat, “out with a fork!”

These are just three basic methods that can come in handy in your writing. Though there are hundreds, if not thousands, of different ways to get your dialog across. The point of this article though is to remind writers to make sure their readers will be reading the dialog as it is meant to be read the first time through. You can mix and mash the methods I have shown you to express more emotion, and get your dialog across to your readers effectively. Of course there are different ways to do everything. I also note that when reading to yourself, and not out loud, your mind tends to skip past everything I have shown you here. So read your work out loud. You will see more errors and things that need changing that way.

Now you are wondering: “How do you expect me to go through my whole story and pick out every piece of dialog?”
Well here is another method I use which helps me. It is impossible to miss any dialog this way unless you do it half asleep- then I recommend a good nap before you do any more writing.

What I do is read my story out loud into a microphone which records my story out on a computer. Why does this work.

Well, unlike reading in your head, reading out loud actually helps you to hear your story and speaker. I find I not only can hear the dialog, but I find every little mistake in my manuscript there is. You mind has to work and listen to the words before it registers them. When reading in your head the story skims in and creates the picture. When listening to the story you have to decipher the words into your mind, therefore picking out ever little mistake you make when reading.

While you edit, listen to the recording of your story. You will find were you hesitate, where you stumble, where you misread a word. You find, the focus of this article, the dialog mistakes. I will read a dialog line mildly, only to read, out loud, that it was to be read angrily. I pick this up in the recording, and Wala! I now know where to fix my dialog.

Recording yourself helps you to find slow parts in your story. Find wordy parts that can be reduced to fit the flow of your voice. Find the boring parts you need to fix. Find the awkward mentioned dialog.

The recording program I use is Audacity. You can find it at http://audacity.sourceforge.net/ . It is free and extremely professional- I think. I recommend it full heartedly.

And if you are shy, like me, about talking to yourself in public or private, well fight it off dude. You want to be a writer, fight for it. That is the only way any of us are going to achieve our dreams.

Fight for it and you will get published, one hundred percent guaranteed. Some people just have to fight longer then others.