Death

I used to never really think about death much. When I was a Mormon, I had a plan all laid out for me. After I left the Mormon Religion, I thought about death a bit, then came up with what I think happens after death. But I'm not sure what happens, I'm not totally positive. I do know you don't just poof don't exist.A human soul is physical, just like the body your in. What makes up our personality, our thoughts, our emotions, that stuff has been measured on instruments by scientists, it has been calculated and proven to exist in some form. A tangible form that we can touch maybe not so much, but enough so that we know there is a physical form of some sort.I think it's an energy of some sort that is created as the body is created, and develops as the body develops. Once the body dies, the soul can't reside in it anymore, because the body is dead, and useless now to stay in, so it leaves. Where a soul goes, I'm not sure, but I don't think it just ceases to exist.This is what I came to a conclusion about, and I left it at that. Death wasn't a big deal to me, and the fact is, I'm still not to worried about myself dieing. But I know it means more to me now then it did before. I lost three friends all within the span of a couple weeks. To know that I won't see their faces anymore kinda is hard to get through my head.But more so, it made me realize that death is a bit more important then I thought. The impact it has on the people who are left behind after someone leaves is enormous. Maybe what I'm more worried about is this exact thing. When I die, I just don't want to be thrown in a hole and forgotten about. I want to make sure that people remember me. I'm not afraid to die, but I'm more afraid that when I die, people will just do a funeral and then in a couple of years forget.I think it's important to leave something behind for people to think about. I know my friends that died I'll remember them forever. McCormack's big smile and optimistic ideas, Miok's great teaching habits, his relaxing composure, and his ability to inspire the best out of us all, and Simpson's great spirit we all felt when we were around him. He could get a smile out of anybody with just a few words.These men will never be forgotten by me, or by any others that knew them. I want to make sure the same is for me. And I hope that we do survive in some format after our lives on earth, so we can continue on, and we can look down at those who are our friends and check up on them in a way.It would be nice to think there is a organized and tangible heaven waiting for us. I can't confirm that, many religions claim it, but I guess we'll never know until we die. I know my buddies though, they are somewhere good. That I do know.Dealing with the death of three friends in such a short period of time did bring out a lot from me. My buddies and I all cried for our friend, it was an emotional experience for sure, that I think would never happen except for the rarest of occasions such as the death of our friend, and in my case friends.I wasn't able to make it to McCormack's or Miok's funeral, but Simpson's acted almost like a ceremony for them all. I was part of the six gun salute, and after the last shot went off, and the air went silent, I felt a peace in me, like each shot was for each one of my friends.When the shots went off, those that weren't crying began, and emotion soared higher through the funeral crowd. It was a ceremony fit for such fine men, and it was a saving grace for myself, bringing me out of my shell so I could finally feel at peace, like I did my part for my friends to send them on their way to where ever it is we go after we die.I have no qualms with death, I feel fine about the whole idea, I just want to make sure I am a good person that will be remembered by my friends and family long after I'm gone. And after this last couple weeks, I know I can deal with the death of more friends better as many questions have been satisfied within the last while, so I can better prepare myself for the death of more friends as I know there will be in the life of a soldier.